Monday, December 29, 2008


So there I was, day after Christmas at Saks (day after day after Christmas actually), checking the clearance rack for the extra 60% off tenderness and maybe hoping to score a plain t-shirt for $10 or something. But then a ray of light shined down on the Black Halo Jackie O dress, marked down from $345 to $55. XS, walk in the park, easy street. Just try it on.
And wouldn't you know, it zipped up and over my booty, my incongruously big hips. And stopped at my tiny tiny bustline. Go no further, the zipper would. So I had to leave my heart behind on the Saks rack, waiting for some no-hipped socialite goddess to plunder for her very own. At least the saleslady told me I had a cute figure. Damn straight.

NOT me in the dress that is NOT MINE

Like this one better, will bide my time

Do you ever feel like you're dressing wrong? Not that there's anything wrong with your personal style, but that maybe a 24 year old should be not wearing jeans and american eagle t-shirts in downtime. Especially since my take on spring style is going to be pinups of 1934 meets New Edition groupie: Long jersey skirts, zippers, plaid shirts...

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Rethinking Steve Madden

After my Steve Madden thigh high boot disaster, I thought all was lost; I figured all they were good for was fry cook boots and those platform sneakers we wore in high school (I know you wore them; I had silver patent leather and white canvas! Worn with JNCOs!) Then last night I went shopping with my friends at the mall that has a Steve Madden and right away I zoomed in on the "Triumph" (right, top row). Fakey suede Margielas at bargain price? Next I drooled simultaneously at and on "Revenu" and "Sallina" (bottom row l to r). Although Sallina has the cheapy looking elastic gusset, up close they are rich and directional. After these little gems I felt compelled to poke around their website, where I found "Bert" (top row, left). Even more Margielaish, with the weird cone heel. I wish I lived in Antwerp or something so I could wear these shoes without being laughed at.

steve by Lux Interior

LATE BREAKING NEWS! The Topshoppers finally smiled down upon me and granted a Christmas miracle: The wool skinny pants are on sale, half off! Still $15 for shipping though.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Here is another lightened outfit picture, for your pleasure.
Dress: garage sale, $5
Belt: thrifted, $1
Socks: Celeste Stein, $3
Heels: thrifted, $3

These heels were bought deadstock in their box with original credit card slip dated November 1979. That's what makes thrifting so fun.

Also, if you can help it, try never to drink a half bottle of hard liquor and follow it with two shots. You will regret it later.

Friday, December 19, 2008

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

I went to a sneak preview of this movie last night; I realize I'm probably not supposed to be talking about a movie before it comes out, since a big studio mucky-muck tried to scare everyone by coming out beforehand and talking about how they had night vision goggles and would kick you out of the theater if they saw your cell phone go off. No matter.

It was pretty chick-flicky but if you have any interest in the history of fashion you need to go see it. Cate Blanchett had the most divine wardrobe, from full skirted dresses, to little desert boots and slim plaid pants, and a whole scene of beatniks partying down in crazy ass 40s scenester clothes. The extras were impeccable too, from post-WWI modified hobble skirts, to depressiony floursack dresses with sturdy heeled shoes, velvet bed jackets...

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Things I Love Thursday

-Finding Celeste Stein trouser sox (a 2 pack no less, one printed and one plain) for $6.99 at TJ Maxx yesterday, I chose the Kitty pattern, but they also had Alexander McQueeny skulls and harlequin prints. Get while the gettin's good!

The Vietnamese market downtown is like a fairyland of food: durian, Nutella, those little sprinkles that Dutch people put on toast, shrimp chips, inarizushi supplies, and most of all, a rotating assortment of Pocky. Last time I bought Brazilian Pudding (whatever that is) and these, Chocolate Orange.

Estee Lauder Advanced Night Repair: They say we're young and we don't know, won't find out until we turn 40 and have wrinkles where no wrinkles were before. Always always always use sunscreen, but at night go on and put some of this stuff on. I got a sample and I've only been really remembering to put it on every night for about a month, but I swear my dark circles are lessened. Sometimes I like my dark circles, since they make me feel like Carine Roitfeld sans money, fame, power and a bottomless closet, but other times I worry about the plastic surgery I will inevitably need one day to pad out my orbital. Of course, Rosario Dawson has mad dark circles and everyone seems to like her just fine.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

The Medium Was Tedium

I have nothing to do at work today, so I am looking at ebay. It is dangerous. I am not allowed to look at ebay anymore. Especially after a sign from God in the form of

this dress, and no my boobs aren't that lopsided in real life

and a khaki and black leopard print jumpsuit, and a black maxidress from the 60s of crepe with an attached necktie. all for like $4 apiece. Did you know the Goodwill has a button on the register for "rompers"?

it's good that this isn't my size. Maybe it's yours?

If only I had a use for a floor-length 30s dress. Hell I could go to Target in this thing and it would be enough use for it. Sigh

And this ~avant garde~ jacket. I could wear them together.

Went and picked up my camera yesterday; went for the Lumix cos it was like $20 cheaper than the Powershot. Here is a picture of my shark dog going for a nom.

Monday, December 15, 2008

It's 10 days til Christmas. I never get anything for Christmas, just cash, and that is going to my car fund (she says as she bites down hard on her finger). Unless my exceedingly generous grandparents find it in their heart to buy me a car. Which they might and have been known to pull grandiose gestures in past. Writing this all down will make it come true. Anyway here are the other things one of my patrons can buy me for Kurisumasu.

I HATE YOU TOPSHOP. Why is US shipping an option on their UK website? When you go to check out, it forces you to redirect to the US website where everything is double and a half price! The wool skinny pants of my dreams, a reasonable £48 on the UK website, are $110 freaking dollars on the US one! $110 dollars? I don't even spend $110 on the things I like let alone a pair of wool pants from the high street. AND ANOTHER THING, why is shipping on the UK website to the US £7.50 (around $11), when the shipping on the US website to the US is fifteen dollars?? On what planet does it cost less to ship over an ocean than to put it on a wagon and send it Pony fuckin Express????

Needless to say I am well pissed, but if anyone wanted to get me the Tux Delux trousers or this delightfully whacky 'denim frill dress' I would be much obliged.

If I had the wool pants, I could wear them with these Miu Miu lightning bolt shoes. If I had these shoes, that is. They are everything everyone likes: Pointy, snakeskin, lightning bolt shaped. And marked down 50% to $342.50.

Dorky birth control glasses are a trend I hope dies forever of terminal lame, since it makes pretty girls look ugly and ugly girls look stupid, but these Selima Optique for J Crew glasses are fresh to death. Lucky me I found a pair of B&L Rayban Wayfarer II's for a cool 5 bucks at a garage sale this weekend. Wayfarer IIs are bigger than your average Wayfarer which is good for me, since regular Wayfarers are at their narrowest where my skull is at my widest. No good. I think Auds is wearing Wayfarer IIs.

"Keep it fresh, y'all"

Y finalmente, I am going to pick up a blue Powershot later today and then you will see more outfit pics! I will take them by force if necessary...

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Dancing in the Shadows

Black. What can we say about black?

Black is fast, black is cool. Black is the absence, the space between all things. Black lets you hide out and stand out at the same time.

I have a holiday party tomorrow and I have an attendant dilemma. I want to dress in my own way, but I feel an obligation to dress "pretty" or "festive" which usually translates into a sleeveless dress in jewel tone. But I want to wear my Sam Edelman Balenciaga knockoffs and my fur coat (unless the Cardin comes in today) and drink Chinese beer.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

I was perusing Digg today, as is my wont, and stumbled upon this article, which says that the pound has fallen 27.1% against the dollar in the past year. So what does that mean for you and me?

Topshop Shopping Spree!

I really like these skinny wool pants which are 48 pounds, which is $71 dollars US and 30 dollars off the price on the US Topshop website! So get while the gettin's good.

P.S., is anyone willing to step out of the dark and tell me how the sizing at Topshop runs?

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Duty Now For The Future

Well its a conundrum, dear readers: I was going to buy a camera but instead in a fit of delirium-induced ebay lust, I instead bought a deadstock 1960s Pierre Cardin coat (!)

You can't take pictures of clothes if you don't buy clothes, but you need to buy a camera to take pictures of the clothes, but if you don't have money to buy the camera...

Monday, December 8, 2008

OK Ladies and Gentlemen:

I see you reading my blog and now I need your help: if you want to see more hot'n'sexy outfit pics, help me choose my new camera:

Panasonic Lumix DMC-FS20P 10 megapixel

-it's pink
-4x optical zoom
-has Leica lens that is probably 75% of the worth of the camera

Canon PowerShot SD1100IS 8 megapixel

-it's pink, but not any pinker than the Panasonic
-3x zoom
-everyone has a Canon; 50,000 Elvis fans can't be wrong

I guess I'll leave you with this picture of how when you put a copy of a Picasso next to the real thing you start to notice the little differences. Not that that's exactly what's going on here, but I think you get the idea.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Y'all know about rats, right? Rats are like little foam or wire forms that provide oomph to the big hair that we so desperately crave. The bumpit (horrible name yes) is like the 21st century answer to the rat.

But you can't argue with results! I think I'm going to buy one; they have a money back guarantee and $20 is a small price to pay to look like the Ronettes.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Things I Bought, Things to Buy

This is why I should not go on Etsy; last bastion of online shopping, because I see shirts like these, Lanvin, with birds on wires and wee scenes of pastoralia. But luckily the crappy licensed 70s Lanvin, as far as I can tell. And I can tell because I have one of their crappy polyester dresses.

Got in on the J Crew extra 30% off sale, and scored this little pretty for $20. All the colors are pretty much gone by now though. To be worn in twee fashion with high waisted Black Watch skirt and vintage Ferragamo flats.

Bought these too, I finally broke down and got the tri-blend long sleeve for warming purposes. I think the army shirt will be warming too, but I don't like that model, cos to me she looks like the human embodiment of Mary Anne from The Baby-sitters Club. The girl in the tri-blend on the other hand, is one of the most good looking people I've ever seen. That's not a very good picture of her, so here's another:

Devastating. She needs to not be hanging around an Astroglide-scented photo studio in her dainties, she needs to start an Italo Disco group called something like Sunshine Express and cut a single called "Boyfriend Lover". Or something.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Gothic Gifts

Giving perfume as a gift is always a dicey proposition; maybe your recipient is anosomic, maybe they are allergic. Maybe they are just immune to the charms of a sultrifying scent. Either way, if you manage to successfully gift a fragrance, everyone wins, because you don't have to smell their stinkiness, and when others ask "what is that intoxicating aroma??" they get to smugly inform them. And none of these will bankrupt your gift budget. Onward!

For five of the stars of Jon and Kate Plus 8

I feel sorry for the two oldest daughters on that show; relegated to limelight's shadow, given the stinkeye like you would not believe when they took their sweaters off under hot studio lights on national tv. Let them pick first from this set of five Harajuku Lovers solid perfumes, then let the little'uns have the dregs. $60 for the set, $12 a person. Of course that still leaves three kids to buy for. That's your problem.

For the girls in the office

One of the perils of working in close quarters is that inevitably someone is wearing Juicy, someone else is wearing Pink Sugar, someone else is wearing Shalimar, and they all choose to talk about last night's Grey's right next to your desk. For $6 apiece, you can buy them each a Demeter "Humongous Mini" (their marketing not mine) in complementary or at least non-offensive scents like Cherry Blossom, Ginger Ale, Clean Soap, Creme Brulee and literally dozens of others.

For your brother's long-term girlfriend who won't get off you about why you don't have a boyfriend, already

There's probably an outside chance that this...woman is going to be your sister-in-law shortly, and while this doesn't please you, you might as well give her something tiny (cos tiny = expensive, right?) Lollia's Wish perfume from will scent her in amber and vanilla bean, set you back only 9 bones, and convey the not-so-secret message that you WISH she would leave you alone. Har har. Plus it will make her feel rotten when she just gives you another Starbucks gift card like she has for the past two Christmases.