Gothic Gifts

Giving perfume as a gift is always a dicey proposition; maybe your recipient is anosomic, maybe they are allergic. Maybe they are just immune to the charms of a sultrifying scent. Either way, if you manage to successfully gift a fragrance, everyone wins, because you don't have to smell their stinkiness, and when others ask "what is that intoxicating aroma??" they get to smugly inform them. And none of these will bankrupt your gift budget. Onward!

For five of the stars of Jon and Kate Plus 8



I feel sorry for the two oldest daughters on that show; relegated to limelight's shadow, given the stinkeye like you would not believe when they took their sweaters off under hot studio lights on national tv. Let them pick first from this set of five Harajuku Lovers solid perfumes, then let the little'uns have the dregs. $60 for the set, $12 a person. Of course that still leaves three kids to buy for. That's your problem.

For the girls in the office

One of the perils of working in close quarters is that inevitably someone is wearing Juicy, someone else is wearing Pink Sugar, someone else is wearing Shalimar, and they all choose to talk about last night's Grey's right next to your desk. For $6 apiece, you can buy them each a Demeter "Humongous Mini" (their marketing not mine) in complementary or at least non-offensive scents like Cherry Blossom, Ginger Ale, Clean Soap, Creme Brulee and literally dozens of others.

For your brother's long-term girlfriend who won't get off you about why you don't have a boyfriend, already



There's probably an outside chance that this...woman is going to be your sister-in-law shortly, and while this doesn't please you, you might as well give her something tiny (cos tiny = expensive, right?) Lollia's Wish perfume from beautyhabit.com will scent her in amber and vanilla bean, set you back only 9 bones, and convey the not-so-secret message that you WISH she would leave you alone. Har har. Plus it will make her feel rotten when she just gives you another Starbucks gift card like she has for the past two Christmases.